Women In Distress

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. ~ Groucho Marx

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[Jana]

yea, I don't want to discuss the subject anymore, cause it is not up to me...it is the universes job. If it an't happening there nothing I can do short of taking steroids, getting plastic surgery, winning the lotto and getting radically sloshed...and I would need all of these and more for planetary alignment to occur for 5 minutes.

slopping up the world with vaginas is over the top even for Sofia...mind you she can say anything she likes.

[Jane]

Jana, I would appear the essence and fun of Sophia's remark has not translated well for you on the written page....... and as for steroids,  plastic surgery, lotto winnings, sloshedness, I am not following the connection.  And perhaps we have ventured down some diversion from the Women in Distress  topic that Daniel engaged and seems to have abandoned.  Or maybe not.
love
Jane

[Jana]

You don't seem to understand that if it is not cosmically happening then there is no desire. I am not out there enough to see anyone, nor would anyone be compatible. This position of no desire, no see, no look...is my most comfortable position ever. I love being alone, shouldn't have to defend it, and think it equally valid or more valid than being with another human. It is also no less loving either.

[Jane]

Jana, I respect your position of being alone as it suits you so well and perhaps so many mystical others..... I am not challenging to defend your position. Rather, I have been doing my best ,not to so much be defensive of, but rather, to stand for the alternative position of being in a Beloved soulful partnership.  What I have understood thus far from you is that you are standing for the position (generally) that it is more evolved ('it is equally valid if not more valid that being with another human') to be single and without desire.  I don't agree with this.  I actually believe the next step in our co-evolution is actually to learn to be 'together' fully present with all of our lights turned on.  I appreciate we have a difference here, and I respect your position.... believe me I am not trying to challenge you to get into my framework, and I apologize if I have come across otherwise.....  I am learning to hold my own space here, in the relationship discussion, not defensively, and hopefully not abrasively either, but also with clarity and intention.
thank you for the exchange.
love Jane

[Jana]

http://dreamingbear.net/profile.html  —The Divine Bhakti Boy Dreaming Bear.

OK, your position is EQUALLY valid to my position, as I wouldn't have many soldiers backing my guard. HOWEVER our philosophies over mateship are irrelevant  because in the end all you've got is what is, and we can't "manufacture" a man so to speak. The single defining point to refining sanity is to be at peace with what is.

[marianthi]

Girls,

I spent  time (over 10 years) in ´emotional autonomy´ and an ´I need no-one´ stance , very in tune with my upward flow of energy,  which I found very healing and informative after a far too long depleting marriage and previous wild passions. 

After that has come a stage of being truly committed to a relationship which you, Jane, call a (learning) to be 'together' fully present with all of our lights turned on´.   It feels like a completion to the previous stage rather than an opposition. 

Different paths, to different people - or to the same people at different times. 

[Jane]

Thank you for that Marianthi,
It is as you say, Different paths, to different people - or to the same people at different times.    For me, the fierceness of my need for my autonomy is growing into a fierceness of my need to show up in my relationships.  It is seems like such a simple and obvious shift, or maybe one that many people never even have to learn.....but it has been neither obvious nor easy for me to see how this works, or how I have been generating the various outcomes I have in my life.  Today as I was walking along, I thought of this saying from somewhere: Life does not happen to me, it happens through me.  Climbing out from under the rock of victimization, birthing my self really, to truly stand for and in my own ability to respond, has been a slow and arduous journey....and I have had the best, most horrible, most challenging practice partners come my way to facilitate this learning including my entire magnificent complicated family and every other soul that has cozied up to me for some adventure.  But today, yes this very day, I do believe I am arriving!
love Jane

[marianthi]

Cheers for that evolution, Jane. 

I do believe that the more we release to our core the steering of our path, the more surprises we will give ourselves.  But of course this core has to be well felt. 
In my case as you seem to imply in yours, if I´m not mistaken, the time spent in autonomy, de-stifled that core from external impositions.  Now she kind of gives the life impulses needed for even more integrity with her.  Unexpected responses?:  The core made me do it!...

I do find that my circle of friends diminishes as this core leads the way.  But hey,  I love the glow.

BTW. I LIKE that word: ´fierceness´. Roar!

[Jana]

When you have a father that wants to use your sex, a mother that wants to take your sex away, sisters that want to borrow your sex partners, no real love relationships with men, a fake marriage was your best relationship, accidentally turn your back on your one true love, two major kundalini awakenings and are not exposed to attractive men, nor believe in an partnership scenario, nor desire it. I have every right to declare celibacy as a viable solution. Just as gays have every right to want to play with same sex individuals or heteros have joining up. Celibacy is JUST as relevant as mating…especially in an overcrowded mad planet. Some hate you for fucking, others hate you for not fucking. Well fuck it…its all silly.

[henry]

Jana, it hurts to read that, and heartmind is prayerfully committed to our Healing.  ... henry would settle for 1 minor kundalini awakening 

[Jane]

Jana, It is a little world.  Ramsses is over in Hawaii hanging out with Dreaming Bear sometimes.  Here is his blog:http://Ramsses.gaia.com/blog/2010/2/dreamingbear-at-the-temple-of-peace.

Like Henry, I feel sad reading about your circumstances growing up too.  It pisses me off how you have been hurt. I admire the stand you have taken for yourself to heal from those circumstances. 
lots of love to you.
Jane

[Jana]

Don't be sad. My upbringing was PERFECT in every way for the work that I am to do. But it is kinda like trying to trudge thru life with a sack of wet sand on ones back that doesn't need to be there. If I attended to myself, rather than writing books I would be able to throw that sack of sand off...After sovereignty...I do Awakening the Body and Awakening Gnosis in Hawaii...since these are largely written...their process will be mostly my own practice.



I am not anti sex, in fact my main product-tools for individuation and civilization building are for sex and the spine.
American DNA doesn’t attract on the soul level mainly due to demineralization and processed foods.
After child bearing age nature doesn’t offer biological navigation for mate selection…I have been mate-psi blind for 10 years while in Boulder. No partner dreams nor sense of children like I used to have.
I am post most things…I wouldn’t be interested in an integralist unless they were post. I wouldn’t be interested in anyone following any of the paths of man, rather than their own internal practice and path.
He would need to be alchemist, wizard, sage, crafter, designer, reformer etc…
Then again I am no catch at all, but I refuse to act when disinterested. Especially when there is no sign inside or out. To work, to work, to work.

[Jane]

Jana, that is sweet of you to say "Don't be sad."  I do have an appreciation for how everything that happens serves to wake  us up....and I think we are awakening from a very dark and difficult time.  The damaging and destruction is difficult to witness, and though is seems that we collectively 'need' the damage and destruction to serve our awakening, it also seems that we are waking up to the irony that our main "need" is to wake up to the newer reality that not only do we not need the damage, indeed, we are called in our new mode of being to wake up to our greater, more responsible and sacred role as co-creators in this mysterious unfolding.. what a paradox!  Thomas Berry had a sequence that went something like: "the present glory of the human is at  the desolation of the earth.  The desolation of the earth is the destiny of the human."      In this is a time-sensitive period...some aspects will be lost because we have not come to our senses 'fast enough'....... and there will be some damage that is  destiny, some losses that can not be mitigated or healed in the old way.....some are extinctions of species, some of ecosystems, some of gorgeous little children, some of whole tribes and cultures. Sadness arises, for you, for me, for all of us..... I have sadness watching.  So much of the destruction seems needless to me, wanton in fact...... I would love us to wake up 'faster', and I would love to be more certain that we are going to wake up collectively..... and even so, I am very grateful and in awe of this mysterious adventure, of which I am not in control, even as I cringe, even as I laugh with joy.
Jane

[Jana]

Lets face it, we in Borg society are afraid to claim our true power because we have been taught enfeeblement, self-denial, compensatory addiction, and the dire need to be "useful." We are trying to fit our multidimensional being into a pathological social design and trying to run from the distress that this causes us.

Generally we are not commended for waking up and lantern bearing, so we have to shine our light in ways that are palatable to those around us.  This waking up business can be pretty lonely and inconsolable, yet the thread is fueled by an unfatiguable faith born by the intuition of a better world. Unfatiguable diligence is immune to the effects of sleep and fatigue that hold us back in our inertial Borg state. By focusing more on building the new and presenting the vision of the possible, rather than in disclosing and condemning the old…in this way we will eventually be supported in our evolutionary dharma and thus stabilize the emergence of the whole human.
 

[marianthi]

Jana,

May all the indignant events you lived  be slowly transmuted in the road you travel.  I cringe to think there are  humans out there capable of doing to others what your family did to you.

There ARE some noble humans left.  I hope they come your way, brave girl.